Remembrance IV

After being rejected by my first love, I did have a few crush with younger guys ^_^ And what is the best is they are all table tennis player ^_^ Hahaha...I spend a lot of time training with them to improve. Besides that, I was also a regular pool player. I train hard too and manage to play a game in less than 5 minutes (Not to brag but it was like that at that time). It was then I found myself falling in love again with another guy. A guy who learn to play table tennis from me and excel fast in the spins. He was also a very pro pool player ^_^

Unfortunately, he didn't like me but take me as a friend. But we hang out very often together. I remember there was a night where me, Elaine, him, and other friends went for the movie Police Story in Pyramid then for drinks in Q-Bar. We sat outside and I remember Elaine's plan of getting me drunk. She was successful and I can remember walking down the ramp to the car park. I couldn't walk in heels and took off my heels. While taking my heels off, I couldn't balance myself to take the shoe off. Hahaha...It was a funny sight ^_^ Lucky I didn't drive that night.

Other than that, there were many events with Elaine and spontaneous activities. Besides that, I have to thank her and my university family, Calvin Tang (grandpa), Grace Cheng (grandma), Elaine (mummy), Wei Sern (small brother) and other friends, Justin and gang. Besides them, there is always Merlye who supports me throught emails and msn ^_^ I can say it is hard to split Merlye and myself as we are known to be Lilo and Stitch where I'm Lilo and she is Stitch ^_^ We got this title when we were partners for double. I will be the one to cool her down when playing ^_^ Hehehe...

Besides those, Kean Leng has always been the one to organize gathering till today. Our main gathering is always Chinese New Year and house visiting ^_^ We gather at Kean Leng's house for Lo Sang every year. We have gambling sessions too ^_^

Thinking back, there are so many good memories besides the bad that happen. But somehow the bad seems to scar me till I forgotten all the good ones. Now there are pouring back to me and there are so much to write. I will continue in the next post ^_^

Remembrance III

Hmmm...this one starts with a sad opening as I was saying at my previous post, the guy I fell in love with is dating my best friend whom I confine to about the guy I love. It came as a shocked. It seems everyone know except me and she hide it well. But I can't blame them as I am dump. The news came when another guy who was chasing my best friend kind of scolded me dump for not knowing what is happening. I did admit that time I was so sad that I did attempt suicide but somehow I didn't as a phone call saved me.

I was soft heart that time too. The guy cried to me and apologize and I just forgive him. I even drove them around after that. How dump I am. Worst is the amount of money I spend just for him and also the arguments I had with my family to come back to KL to be with him. In the end no one knows but say that I already know they are together but still put my head in. Hahaha...What can I say? I do not know but everyone keep saying the other way for the girl told everyone that. I was young and didn't bother and let people think of it that way for I know when a person have made up their mind it should be that, no matter if I defend myself of not, I will be the one to blame for being stupid.

That time, that guy was to fly to Australia to further his studies and I was kind enough to send him off too and drive my so-called best friend to send him off. I just do not know what was in my head that time. All I can say about myself then was stupid. After the guy left, my so-called best friend and him was left as it is as he had a girlfriend in Australia already. So it is a complicated relationship. The girl was thinking to wait or not to. She was also scare of something that I do not know of as she follows me everywhere. At that time I hated her for what she did. But I do not know why I trusted her back after that.

But she ended up dating Guoy. I remember in the middle of the year, she was actually still attach with the guy in Australia. That time all I can think was to ask her to forget bout that guy in Australia if she has decided on Guoy. She did that. But their relationship was hard as I remember going to her to advice her to try to see things from Guoy's point. At times I tell her it is ok to be angry with Guoy but Guoy would realize and won't do it again. But in the end, she cause more pain to me than I can imagine.

She played my trust again not long after that. She had some problems with Guoy but I do not know about it. Then at the same time, my childhood friend just broke up and was vulnerable so she hang out with me and together with Guoy and his girlfriend, who is my so called best friend. Things got complicated as I thought Guoy was with my childhood friend and left my so called best friend. My so called best friend manage to make me believe that my childhood friend tried to steal Guoy from her.

The naive me believe it totally. In the end, I was left crying my heart out as it wasn't as what i was told about. A friendship that I cherish was torn till today and is hard to be mend back. I kept asking myself how come I didn't trust my childhood friend but believe in someone who broke my trust once. This would be the second time and how the heck I allow that to happen. A lesson hard to learn. But I was dumb to trust her back. How naive I was about this girl. I take her as my best friend but I'm a toy and also a person to carry all the blame.

She ended her relationship with Guoy eventually after a year. She even hide the fact that she was still dating Guoy from her parents as her parents do not like him. She use that to her upper hand. She would lied to Guoy to say she is with her family and Guoy wouldn't call when she is out meeting new guys and having the guys spend a night in her bedroom. That was something I didn't know till she drag me into one of her little event. She would met all these guys from friendster and they would come and see her and stay over at her room. The plan when the guy arrive was to go club and she get high and drunk before going home. Then it would be fun for her. But I couldn't let it happen so I stayed there till she was deep in sleep.

But it was a waste as a week later when we went back to our hometown, I was to drop her at the toll house where she is going over to Penang to stay over at that guys place. I was not to tell her parents that also. If they asked me, I am to say that I went back a day later than the actual day I reach. It was hard. I was also asked to lie to Guoy about all these. I thought it was only once so I just close an eye. But round two came. I couldn't do it and back off. She wasn't happy about it. I got hell from her after that but to others, it look like I asked for it and no one believe my story as she was smart in doing her homework to have everything to side her.

The other friends that I met after that, she would tell Guoy that I'm being used by them. In truth, I was happier with them than with her. Those friends, Elaine and friends didn't use me but they company me when I need company and vice versa. Another reason was Elaine and me at times would treat one another things unlike with that girl who would asked me to treat but I get nothing back in return. I was like a taxi driver to her but Elaine would actually pay for parking and at times give me things for the petrol without me saying anything. This was the difference but somehow no one knows. So she has the upper hand still in bad mouthing on me.

There is nothing I can do with it but ignore. If I don't defend myself, the bad name is there. If I try to defend, they say I create story to cover up. So what is the point. She want it so badly I have a bad name so I let it be. Little did I know I carry this burden for so long. But I think it is time to let it go and move on. If there are people who rather believe her still, I can't do anything but move on and be with people who would motivate me to be better and bring the best out in me and not be hold back in the negativity and unhappiness. All the negative would make situation worst and make more people believe her. So I rather mix with people who are genuine with me.

Remembrances II

In my first year in Monash, many things happen and some of it actually play a huge part in changing me into half of who I am now. I can say it might be good and can be bad. I didn't select the same group as my foundation friends so we have half the same time tabling and the other half not the same. I make new friends too at that time. I met this group of people from Taylors.

It was fun to know new people but I hang out often with my initial group. The only one who isn't in the same course was Guoy as he was the only one who went into Computer Science while the others are in Engineering. My time with Guoy was reduce to a lot as he mix with his course mates more. He also move from apartments to condo. So we spend less time going out.

What I remember most is going for trips with Dr Teoh ^_^ Bird park was memorable even when Senan kept saying I get bird shit =.= In the end I did get bird shit but not the bird shit on me but I accidentally touch on it without looking =.= I still spend a lot of time with Merlye ^_^ We always have our usual meal where it is tofu with rice or buns ^_^ At times, I would be at her place overnight too ^_^ Public holidays are normally at her place where in the next morning we would hit Petaling Street or Sungai Wang ^_^


During our mid semester break Merlye, Senan, Teng Teng and Rick came to visit me in Taiping. We had a lot of fun as we drove up to Penang for a one day trip visiting places ^_^ Then took them round Taiping and even to the waterfall area and pick pebbles. It was fun that time ^_^ Then end of the year there was another trip organize by Hau Wei to go Penang. That trip there was Guoy, Kevin, Ashley, Yi King and Chui Chui. We took 2 rooms in Batu Ferringi. It was a memorable trip too.

My first half of the year was good. Things start to change in the second half. I was a emotional person that time so I'm easily affected. Just when semester start, my grandmother left us. It was a hard time for me to cope. At the same time, my first crush just found a girlfriend. I didn't know what to do that time. But at the same time, I knew another guy and feel head over heels in love with him. He was a table tennis player and I started to concentrate fully in table tennis to reach his level. Besides that, I was among one of the few selected to be Monash Table Tennis Club pioneer commitee member. I was the club's secretary ^_^

In the end I manage to reach a level that people think I started playing since primary school. But it was 2 years later ^_^ I remember I was chasing him and was so blinded that I didn't realize that he and my best friend that time (the person I confine to about him too) was dating. I had friends telling me but I wave it off. I only found out about it the very next year. That would be told in the later post.

It was also at this time that Merlye told me that she is going to New Zealand to further her studies. I was sad as I can't follow. But somehow, we kept in touch till today ^_^ Nothing change between our friendship even as we change ^_^ She is among one of my best friends that keep me going and never let me feel low ^_^