Hmmm...this one starts with a sad opening as I was saying at my previous post, the guy I fell in love with is dating my best friend whom I confine to about the guy I love. It came as a shocked. It seems everyone know except me and she hide it well. But I can't blame them as I am dump. The news came when another guy who was chasing my best friend kind of scolded me dump for not knowing what is happening. I did admit that time I was so sad that I did attempt suicide but somehow I didn't as a phone call saved me.
I was soft heart that time too. The guy cried to me and apologize and I just forgive him. I even drove them around after that. How dump I am. Worst is the amount of money I spend just for him and also the arguments I had with my family to come back to KL to be with him. In the end no one knows but say that I already know they are together but still put my head in. Hahaha...What can I say? I do not know but everyone keep saying the other way for the girl told everyone that. I was young and didn't bother and let people think of it that way for I know when a person have made up their mind it should be that, no matter if I defend myself of not, I will be the one to blame for being stupid.
That time, that guy was to fly to Australia to further his studies and I was kind enough to send him off too and drive my so-called best friend to send him off. I just do not know what was in my head that time. All I can say about myself then was stupid. After the guy left, my so-called best friend and him was left as it is as he had a girlfriend in Australia already. So it is a complicated relationship. The girl was thinking to wait or not to. She was also scare of something that I do not know of as she follows me everywhere. At that time I hated her for what she did. But I do not know why I trusted her back after that.
But she ended up dating Guoy. I remember in the middle of the year, she was actually still attach with the guy in Australia. That time all I can think was to ask her to forget bout that guy in Australia if she has decided on Guoy. She did that. But their relationship was hard as I remember going to her to advice her to try to see things from Guoy's point. At times I tell her it is ok to be angry with Guoy but Guoy would realize and won't do it again. But in the end, she cause more pain to me than I can imagine.
She played my trust again not long after that. She had some problems with Guoy but I do not know about it. Then at the same time, my childhood friend just broke up and was vulnerable so she hang out with me and together with Guoy and his girlfriend, who is my so called best friend. Things got complicated as I thought Guoy was with my childhood friend and left my so called best friend. My so called best friend manage to make me believe that my childhood friend tried to steal Guoy from her.
The naive me believe it totally. In the end, I was left crying my heart out as it wasn't as what i was told about. A friendship that I cherish was torn till today and is hard to be mend back. I kept asking myself how come I didn't trust my childhood friend but believe in someone who broke my trust once. This would be the second time and how the heck I allow that to happen. A lesson hard to learn. But I was dumb to trust her back. How naive I was about this girl. I take her as my best friend but I'm a toy and also a person to carry all the blame.
She ended her relationship with Guoy eventually after a year. She even hide the fact that she was still dating Guoy from her parents as her parents do not like him. She use that to her upper hand. She would lied to Guoy to say she is with her family and Guoy wouldn't call when she is out meeting new guys and having the guys spend a night in her bedroom. That was something I didn't know till she drag me into one of her little event. She would met all these guys from friendster and they would come and see her and stay over at her room. The plan when the guy arrive was to go club and she get high and drunk before going home. Then it would be fun for her. But I couldn't let it happen so I stayed there till she was deep in sleep.
But it was a waste as a week later when we went back to our hometown, I was to drop her at the toll house where she is going over to Penang to stay over at that guys place. I was not to tell her parents that also. If they asked me, I am to say that I went back a day later than the actual day I reach. It was hard. I was also asked to lie to Guoy about all these. I thought it was only once so I just close an eye. But round two came. I couldn't do it and back off. She wasn't happy about it. I got hell from her after that but to others, it look like I asked for it and no one believe my story as she was smart in doing her homework to have everything to side her.
The other friends that I met after that, she would tell Guoy that I'm being used by them. In truth, I was happier with them than with her. Those friends, Elaine and friends didn't use me but they company me when I need company and vice versa. Another reason was Elaine and me at times would treat one another things unlike with that girl who would asked me to treat but I get nothing back in return. I was like a taxi driver to her but Elaine would actually pay for parking and at times give me things for the petrol without me saying anything. This was the difference but somehow no one knows. So she has the upper hand still in bad mouthing on me.
There is nothing I can do with it but ignore. If I don't defend myself, the bad name is there. If I try to defend, they say I create story to cover up. So what is the point. She want it so badly I have a bad name so I let it be. Little did I know I carry this burden for so long. But I think it is time to let it go and move on. If there are people who rather believe her still, I can't do anything but move on and be with people who would motivate me to be better and bring the best out in me and not be hold back in the negativity and unhappiness. All the negative would make situation worst and make more people believe her. So I rather mix with people who are genuine with me.
I was soft heart that time too. The guy cried to me and apologize and I just forgive him. I even drove them around after that. How dump I am. Worst is the amount of money I spend just for him and also the arguments I had with my family to come back to KL to be with him. In the end no one knows but say that I already know they are together but still put my head in. Hahaha...What can I say? I do not know but everyone keep saying the other way for the girl told everyone that. I was young and didn't bother and let people think of it that way for I know when a person have made up their mind it should be that, no matter if I defend myself of not, I will be the one to blame for being stupid.
That time, that guy was to fly to Australia to further his studies and I was kind enough to send him off too and drive my so-called best friend to send him off. I just do not know what was in my head that time. All I can say about myself then was stupid. After the guy left, my so-called best friend and him was left as it is as he had a girlfriend in Australia already. So it is a complicated relationship. The girl was thinking to wait or not to. She was also scare of something that I do not know of as she follows me everywhere. At that time I hated her for what she did. But I do not know why I trusted her back after that.
But she ended up dating Guoy. I remember in the middle of the year, she was actually still attach with the guy in Australia. That time all I can think was to ask her to forget bout that guy in Australia if she has decided on Guoy. She did that. But their relationship was hard as I remember going to her to advice her to try to see things from Guoy's point. At times I tell her it is ok to be angry with Guoy but Guoy would realize and won't do it again. But in the end, she cause more pain to me than I can imagine.
She played my trust again not long after that. She had some problems with Guoy but I do not know about it. Then at the same time, my childhood friend just broke up and was vulnerable so she hang out with me and together with Guoy and his girlfriend, who is my so called best friend. Things got complicated as I thought Guoy was with my childhood friend and left my so called best friend. My so called best friend manage to make me believe that my childhood friend tried to steal Guoy from her.
The naive me believe it totally. In the end, I was left crying my heart out as it wasn't as what i was told about. A friendship that I cherish was torn till today and is hard to be mend back. I kept asking myself how come I didn't trust my childhood friend but believe in someone who broke my trust once. This would be the second time and how the heck I allow that to happen. A lesson hard to learn. But I was dumb to trust her back. How naive I was about this girl. I take her as my best friend but I'm a toy and also a person to carry all the blame.
She ended her relationship with Guoy eventually after a year. She even hide the fact that she was still dating Guoy from her parents as her parents do not like him. She use that to her upper hand. She would lied to Guoy to say she is with her family and Guoy wouldn't call when she is out meeting new guys and having the guys spend a night in her bedroom. That was something I didn't know till she drag me into one of her little event. She would met all these guys from friendster and they would come and see her and stay over at her room. The plan when the guy arrive was to go club and she get high and drunk before going home. Then it would be fun for her. But I couldn't let it happen so I stayed there till she was deep in sleep.
But it was a waste as a week later when we went back to our hometown, I was to drop her at the toll house where she is going over to Penang to stay over at that guys place. I was not to tell her parents that also. If they asked me, I am to say that I went back a day later than the actual day I reach. It was hard. I was also asked to lie to Guoy about all these. I thought it was only once so I just close an eye. But round two came. I couldn't do it and back off. She wasn't happy about it. I got hell from her after that but to others, it look like I asked for it and no one believe my story as she was smart in doing her homework to have everything to side her.
The other friends that I met after that, she would tell Guoy that I'm being used by them. In truth, I was happier with them than with her. Those friends, Elaine and friends didn't use me but they company me when I need company and vice versa. Another reason was Elaine and me at times would treat one another things unlike with that girl who would asked me to treat but I get nothing back in return. I was like a taxi driver to her but Elaine would actually pay for parking and at times give me things for the petrol without me saying anything. This was the difference but somehow no one knows. So she has the upper hand still in bad mouthing on me.
There is nothing I can do with it but ignore. If I don't defend myself, the bad name is there. If I try to defend, they say I create story to cover up. So what is the point. She want it so badly I have a bad name so I let it be. Little did I know I carry this burden for so long. But I think it is time to let it go and move on. If there are people who rather believe her still, I can't do anything but move on and be with people who would motivate me to be better and bring the best out in me and not be hold back in the negativity and unhappiness. All the negative would make situation worst and make more people believe her. So I rather mix with people who are genuine with me.
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